One more Beginning!
To be honest I don’t know what this is. At first it started as a simple fiction story, then I wanted to touch our modern cosmology, then I knew I had to speak out about this horrible condition we find as our society. Then the story died in me and all that would come to me was random poetry, then song lyrics, and for a while nothing.
At first the words poured out, seemingly from nowhere and then for many a while there was nothing. I have been editing and reformatting, my method of writing is itself bizarre. I had no concept of writing chronologically after a while; I would bounce here and there and write when I felt inspired.
The whole time I knew it wasn’t how others would do it, or in other words, how others would say it should be done. Yet the whole time, in my experience I learned what seemed to be needed, and now I have the shadows of a creation all my own. Now I believe it is supposed to be a confession, a testimony, and a healing story.
I searched for a muse, I prayed to God for a muse, and all the while he was working in my life. Pulling strings and tripping levers, writing secret letters, and flirting with the attention of my being, many of these words were written in a state of mind, where I don’t even remember what I was writing. It just came to me.
I have found my muse, and it is El-O-Him, for he is greater than any other thing, and after staring at his glory, how could any other name ever bring praise from my lips, like that golden name of El-O-Him. I have prayed to YHVH and he has heard me, I have cried and prostrated myself before Yeshua, and he has cleansed me.
I have been before the sacred trinity, and they have healed me, and my God, my God, you are beautiful, you are just, you are amazing, and for you alone do I wish to lust. With my mind, heart and soul, I wish to feel and know you more. you oh my God, will make me whole.