I remember being desperate to change.
Knowing in my soul that if I didn’t overcome the obstacles of my life, I’d drown.
I love researching and learning so I gathered plenty of perspectives, plenty of tools, and methods to try and create lasting change in my life, but nothing stuck.
Not until I started to put all the pieces together in effective daily habits, starting small and working my way up.
Through this work I overcame:
- Life Long Depression
- Manic Episodes
- Lead Poisoning
- Cigarette Smoking
- Marijuana Dependency
- Being too scared to come out to my family
- Being too scared to do the work I know is right for me
As you can see, I’ve had plenty of struggles. Some of them took years to overcome, some of them have simply melted away as I become more and more in tune with who I am and what I am here to do.
This work worked because:
I started to treat myself as a dynamic individual. An individual who knows that all the areas of my life are interconnected in a complicated system.
I revamped my entire diet, worked on nutrition, came to understand the truth that we really are what we eat and if I don’t give my body what it needs I can’t possibly reach the states of health and success I’m striving for.
I then used those material components I gathered from my diet and nutrition and started rewriting my mindset and the way I saw the world. The way I interacted with the world.
I examined my relationships and my environment and made sure that both were fully supporting the change I wanted to make while cultivating the best in me.
I dug in deep beneath the thoughts on the surface of my mind and through meditation, self-exploration, therapy, writing, and writhing with the human experience I began to discover and heal the wounds so near my core.
This work worked because I began to nurture and care for myself on all levels of my being.
Never forget that you are more than an “I,” more than a singular subject. You are a story, a planet, a world and all its history.
Your consciousness is composed of both mind and body. Your past lives through you in the structures of your brain and the ways your muscle and nerves hold memory.
Your brain itself acts from different systems, causing different experiences of perception, personality, and behaviors depending on what system is invoked.
The part of you that operates from a stressed state that is dominated by the amygdala is very different than the more rational part of you that is operating from your frontal lobe.
If you are looking to create long-lasting change in your life you’re going to need to address every part of yourself.
It may sound overwhelming, but like any good coach will tell you, all you have to do is take one small step at a time.
The trick is to make sure that you are taking small steps while maintaining your awareness that you can’t fix it all by going down just one road.
True change will require both behavioral and cognitive change.
Quite often it requires deep inner work to discover and heal the underlying conditions that created the cognitive and behavioral habits that have shaped your life.
Here are some tools to help you on your journey.
1. Find ways to broaden your perspective.
Gather information from each aspect of life. Find people who are enthusiastic about the mind, soak up what they have to teach and mix this with people who are enthusiastic about health, nutrition, and exercise.
Befriend people of different backgrounds and cultures, there is a lot of recent medical research going into the examination of why other cultures have longer life spans or report higher levels of happiness.
By increasing your exposure to diversity you allow yourself to come into contact with wisdom and insights from a greater range of backgrounds.
2. Run your plans through these questions.
- What will it require from you in terms of mindset?
- How can you work with your body to make this change?
- What other behaviors will have to change?
- What would your friends from different cultures or different points of view advise?
3. Make goals and checklists.
Break things down into easily accomplished goals. Things you can do each and every day.
Checklists can help you keep track of these goals. Personally, I try to keep my checklist down to 3-4 things a day, with a longer list for ongoing projects.
I've found this is a good number for clients too, otherwise, we forget what we're working on.
4. Check in with yourself and see if an area of your life is underdeveloped.
Be honest with yourself.
Is your diet and nutrition all that it could be?
What is the health of your thought life? What does a normal day look like? Do you feel hopeful and inspired, or anxious and depressed?
What are your energy levels at? Do you feel sluggish or tired throughout the day? Energized and enlivened?
Each of these conditions has multiple components, but we tend to treat them with one approach.
We think that just because our energy is low, exercise and eating well will fix it. Most of the time it does, and it certainly doesn't hurt, but if there is a habit or an emotion like anxiety that drains your energy, the exercise and diet will only do so much.
In a similar way, people will sometimes try and rewrite their mindsets with positive thinking and affirmation when they're still feeding their body junk or poisoning it with booze or cigarettes.
We have to get with the whole picture. Setting small goes to improve the mind and body at the same time.
If you are finding yourself running up against a wall when it comes to your personal transformation, you may be leaving out a part of the equation. Double check the many areas of life that are affecting a particular behavior.
Call to Action:
Start to examine each of your behaviors and challenges, purposefully looking to see how nutrition, exercise, cognition, and your past is affecting that behavior or challenge.
When you see some things that are coming up for you set a small goal that you can use to improve that area of life.
If you want more information on self-coaching check out my article here.
If you want to establish a firm foundation for your life and healing check out my guide: Break Out of the Rut, it gives some tips I use with my clients to improve their lives 10x over.
I’ve also included a free hypnosis recording to help you on your way.